The ultimate baseball movie roster

One great thing about baseball is the lessons it teaches us. The value of teamwork might be the biggest, and Ross (Bernie Mac) learns that while in pursuit of the milestone 3,000-hit mark he thought was accomplished long ago. Once a glory hound, me-first star, Stan is quickly humbled in his return to the game and eventually becomes a team player and someone worth the rooting on. We can use him on this club, if for anything else, he won't pass up a commercial. 

We've slotted the greatest player in the history of that Southern California neighborhood sandlot at second because Rodriguez can play anywhere on the diamond, which certainly helps the cause. Rodriguez (Mike Vitar), who we know will be a threat on the bases, is a five-tool player and also a handsome lad. So we expect him to be in plenty of promotional spots for this franchise.

One thing is certain: This team will be filled with characters. Of course, there's always that off-color, non-PC teammate who will have plenty of his sound bytes bleeped out and his wallet hit hard by fines. Expect Boyle (Chris Barnes) to be that guy. Umpires and the opposition might be the enemy, but we also know deep down he'll play hard, do anything for the team and won't be afraid to call a player out or light a fire beneath an underachiever. 

Dorn (Corbin Bersen) can be an asset because he still hits the ball well but just can't field it. There's also a potential for some motivational issues, but we'll look past that for now. However, once his playing days are over, we expect Dorn to move into a front office position. Plus, if any of our players run into any financial problems and need to be turned on to "a great investment guy," Rog is our guy.

Every team needs a bad-ass, so look no further than Leak (Jackie Earle Haley). The resident bad boy can also play the game. He was hitting .841 at one point during the Bears' run to the championship game of the North Valley League in '76. Once we get through Leak's tough exterior, we see he's somewhat of a tortured soul who is really longing for acceptance. Plus, he has a motorcycle and can drive a van, which could come in handy on road trips.

Between Rodriguez and Hayes (Wesley Snipes, sorry Omar Epps), opposing catchers will have nightmares when they reach base because of their blazing speed. Not necessarily the quintessential leadoff man due to his trouble keeping the ball on the ground, Hayes will still find a way to get on base. However, he's prone to bonehead mistakes every now and then. A teammate might also have to read the menu for him when out to a French restaurant on the road.  

One thing we know about Hobbs (Robert Redford) is that he's a gamer. He'll play through just about anything — injuries, illness, geez, even a gunshot wound. He's by far the best pure hitter in the lineup and is an above-average outfielder. On his days off, Hobbs can also provide value as a late-inning pinch-hitter. After all, he is the king of the walk-off, whether using Wonderboy or the Savoy Special.

He's the coolest guy on this roster, hands down. Whether it's not flinching when a fastball is coming at him from 10-feet away or offering his insights or views on life, Davis (Kevin Costner) is all about experience and honoring the game. Plus, he can flat out play. Davis calls a great game behind the plate, works well with young pitchers and is the premier home run hitter in this lineup. He also seems poised to be a great manager some day.

The most athletic player on our entire roster is arguably Hinson (Geena Davis). She can hit for power or contact, has a great eye and is as solid — and limber — as they come behind the plate. She can spell Davis when needed. Hinson is also a manager on the field and somebody who can be that go-between the players and coaching staff. Plus, she can milk a cow.

Yes, Elliot (Tom Selleck) might be past his prime, but he can still be a serviceable bat off the bench — not to mention, he can be a productive DH or fill in at first base when needed. Elliot should be great ambassador for our club on an international level, like when we play that first series of the season in Tokyo. 

Like Hinson, Taylor (Tom Berenger) has the potential to be a coach on the field, and it's just a matter of time before he becomes a big league manager — like all good catchers tend to end up doing. He's also a great locker room guy and, like Tanner Boyle, he has no trouble giving it to a teammate who is not pulling his weight. Taylor is the epitome of a ballplayer, married to the game, a lifer in the best sense of the word.

Now that he learned how to hit a curve ball without the help of buddy Jobu, Cerrano (Dennis Haysbert) offers a big bat. He is a decent outfielder, but tends to strike out a lot, so he might not be an everyday option. We like his bat off the bench and in a DH role. There is plenty of walk-off potential in Cerrano's bat, which doesn't seem quite 30 inches, even.

OK, we're filled with catchers on this roster. But "Ham" (Patrick Renna) is the future of the franchise behind the plate. Plus, he's got a powerful bat and tends to be our source for comedy in the dugout and clubhouse. If there's anybody who will deliver a "hot foot," it probably will be Porter. Plus, he's good for snacks on road trips and at team sleepovers.

The young fireballer (Tim Robbins) is a bonus baby who's got a "million-dollar arm" and a "5-cent head." We assume Crash Davis will be his personal catcher and show him the ropes while trying to put him in position to make it to" The Show." Now, we'll have to deal with "Nuke's" wildness on the mound and penchant for wearing women's lingerie under his game uniform. We can live with that as long as he wins at least 15 and has an ERA under 4.00.

Whurlitzer (Tatum O'Neal) might be young in age, but she's as wily as they come in terms of mound presence. She can mix pitches with the best of them, and her off-speed stuff is knee-buckling at times. Amanda's even been known to doctor up the ball every now and then, but she's always clever about it. The only thing that might get in the way of her pitching progress is a side job selling maps of movie stars' homes.

The future Hall of Famer is in the twilight of his career, and we may have him for only one season before retirement comes calling. Still, Chapel (Kevin Costner) is one of baseball's all-time great pitchers and we believe he still has that one more special outing left in him. Plus, wouldn't it be great to see a battery of Billy Chapel and Crash Davis?

Dottie Hinson's kid sister, Keller (Lori Petty) is a fireball but can often feel overshadowed by her "perfect" sister. Still, Keller plays with passion and is an innings eater. She's poised to give a quality start every time she takes the ball, but can unravel if an inning gets away from her. Dottie will be her personal catcher, while Kit might even be a mentor to young Amanda.

The crafty right-hander is the perfect fifth starter. He's up in age, but we'll usually get a solid effort each time out from Harris (Chelcie Ross). Eddie is old school — he's been around — so he might not always see eye to eye with guys like "Nuke" or the other young arms on the staff. But he knows how to survive in this league and keep his arm from falling off  — any way he can.

The young phenom, with the really, really tight tendons following an arm injury, is one of the most beloved fictional pitchers in the history of the Chicago Cubs. Only a sixth-grader, Henry (Thomas Ian Nicholas), whose pitchers are like lasers because of his recovery, can either start or relieve. We like his tenure with this club to begin out of the bullpen then perhaps ease into the rotation at some point.

Rowengartner's mentor on the field and off, Steadman (Gary Busey) is in the waning days of his career. He may not be an every-fifth-day pitcher, but we think he can do the job out of the 'pen as well as be someone to help guide the youngsters on the staff, and the team, through what can be an overwhelming time.  

A friend of Kelly Leak, Ronzonni (Jimmy Baio) became the ace of the Bears' staff after Amanda Whurlitzer left the team. The East Coast transplant had trouble with his control early in his Bears' career, but he straightened it out. He should do fine out of this bullpen and can also swing the bat, as his offense helped the Bears win that memorable game in the Astrodome.

Many have said that Dunne's worst enemy is himself. He's got a great arm, but his confidence is fragile. After blowing his chance in college baseball, Dunne (Freddie Prinze Jr.) resurrected his career in the Cape Cod League to get his shot in the majors. The left-hander can help either in the rotation or the bullpen and might be a budding closer if he can keep his head focused and emotions in check.

Another coach on the field, Cantrell (William Petersen) is best known as the player-manager of the low-level Tampico Stogies. Much like his cult-classic "Long Gone" never made it to the big screen (it was an HBO film), Cantrell never made it to the majors because he went off to war. A true man of the game,"Stud" lives the baseball life to the tilt. He brings plenty of experience and hard living to this roster and should be terrific drinking buddies with Crash Davis and Jake Taylor.

"Blackout," played by late real-life major leaguer and actor Brad Lesley, is high-wired. He's intimidating with that fu manchu and will be used to put fear into opposing hitters late in the game. While he can be gruff and imposing on the outside, there is a soft spot somewhere inside, even for that kid manager he played for with the Twins. In the end, we just need him to get outs in relief.

There is no bigger character on this team than the "Wild Thing." Every good closer should be a little off center, and Vaughn certainly fits that bill. Straight out of the "California Penal" league, Vaughn (Charlie Sheen) burst on to the scene as a rookie with the Indians and became an instant celebrity once he got classes to help him see the strike zone better. Plus, his entrance music is guaranteed to send chills up and down one's spine — especially when the house is packed.

Donovan (Charles Cyphers) is a players' kind of GM. He should also be considered the greatest fictional baseball executive ever considering how he assembled that overachieving Indians roster of the late 1980s, which became a perennial postseason contender. He found the likes of Pedro Cerrano, got the last ounce of baseball out of Jake Taylor and found perhaps the greatest fictional baseball pitcher in the "Wild Thing."

A washed up, formerly great player with a bad knee and a drinking problem. Sounds like our kind of guy, as long as none of our players starts crying. Dugan (Tom Hanks) gets first shot at managing our club, but we expect him to be ejected from more than a few games for arguing with an umpire. With that in mind, Dugan's got a capable coaching staff that includes Lou Brown (James Gammon, "Major League"), Billy Heywood (Luke Edwards, "Little Big League") and Morris Buttermaker (Walter Matthau, "The Bad News Bears") to take over when needed.