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Let’s project all our dumb politics on this one NFL game
(L-R) Eli Harold #58, Colin Kaepernick #7 and Eric Reid #35 of the San Francisco 49ers kneel on the sideline during the national anthem prior to the game against the Dallas Cowboys on October 2, 2016. Kaepernick will return to the starting quarterback position this Sunday. Thearon W. Henderson/Getty Images

Let’s project all our dumb politics on this one NFL game

After weeks of wondering when the 49ers would finally pull the plug on the great Blaine Gabbert revival project, all it took was an even more team-friendly contract restructuring on a contract that was already very team-friendly to get Colin Kaepernick back in the starting quarterback role he had already held over four seasons and one Super Bowl run. 

Since he began his anthem protest during the preseason, Kaepernick has only appeared in garbage time of one regular season game, the 28-0 Week 1 shutout victory over the Rams, and he didn’t even attempt a pass. So fans have little idea of what to expect from him in terms of on-field production. Chip Kelly, meanwhile, spent September trying to manage expectations by telling the public that Kaepernick isn’t in the physical shape he was in back in 2013 when he took the Niners to the Super Bowl. Whether that was true or an excuse to keep Kaepernick on the sideline is something we'll have to wait for Sunday to know for sure.

What we do know is we have perhaps the most politically pitched NFL game in, well, my memory, at least. On one side, there’s Colin Kaepernick, who has inspired a movement not only across the NFL but all levels of football and even other parts of the sports landscape to join a protest decrying police violence against minorities. On the other, there’s Rex Ryan, a white Trump supporter who not only has the benefit of privilege but also nepotism being the son of another NFL head coach. Like, Trump he's long been willing to shoot his mouth off just to get attention. Thankfully, at least, he seems less inclined to molest women. Either way, you couldn't find two more politically opposed figures in the league right now. 

For storyline purposes, it’s fun to paint this game as a microcosm of the election, though as usual reality doesn’t quite so neatly fit into sports narratives. For starters, Kaepernick doesn’t appear to like Hillary Clinton much more than he likes Donald Trump, if at all. He’s called both candidates liars and racists. And not everyone on the Bills shares Ryan’s support for Trump. An anonymous Bills player told Mike Freeman a few weeks back, “Rex is such an open-minded guy, a really good person. But the fact he could back someone as closed-minded as Trump genuinely shocked me.” 

Given that more than 90 percent of the 22 black players that Freeman surveyed for the piece said they planned to vote for Clinton, that one quoted Bills player likely isn’t alone in his feelings. And who knows, one or two of Kaepernick’s offensive linemen might feel very strongly about their approval of law enforcement. Would that cause someone to alter how they play? Almost certainly not, though after former Lions left tackle Lomas Brown admitted a few years ago he once intentionally missed a block to let Scott Mitchell get hurt, I suppose it isn’t entirely inconceivable either. 

So saying this game equals a football-themed preview of the election is simplistic and dumb, though it does get at many of the themes of our political discourse at the moment. And given that the game is in Buffalo, arguably the rowdiest game day atmosphere in the NFL, the atmosphere is likely to be heated no matter what. It might not exactly be an election bellwether, but it’ll be another way to stew in the chaos for a few more hours without torturing yourself with cable news or beating back trolls on social media. 

2016, gotta love it. 

Red Zone bathroom pass

NFL watchability ratings are generally pointless. Everyone has access to the same prime time games and their quality typically corresponds to the night they’re broadcast. Sunday night is the best, Monday night is next, then there’s Thursday night.

Instead, here’s my expectation of how many bathroom breaks you might be able to get away with during a slate of games on Sunday. It’s generally going to be more difficult during the early slate because the NFL still insists on frontloading most of their Sunday nights into the early slot. After waking up early for the first London game last Sunday, we return to the standard Sunday format for the next two weeks. 

Early slate:

San Francisco at Buffalo / Jacksonville at Chicago / Los Angeles at Detroit / Pittsburgh at Miami / Cincinnati at New England / Carolina at New Orleans / Baltimore at New York Giants / Cleveland at Tennessee / Philadelphia at Washington

Estimated breaks: Three. Aside from the political trash talking bound to emerge from 49ers-Bills there’s not a whole lot to get excited about here if your favorite team isn’t playing. That Eagles-’Skins game could be good, though Philly is coming off a loss and three wins in a row is too much competence for Dan Snyder’s team is handle so expect a bounce back Eagles win. 

Late slate:

Kansas City at Oakland / Dallas at Green Bay / Atlanta at Seattle 
Estimated breaks: None. These are all decent to very good games. Hold it in and embrace the spectacle, because looking at the Sunday and Monday night games, it’s likely your last chance at quality football for the week.

 

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